So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
