Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
