yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
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Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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