I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
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