Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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