You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And my parents said I crawled through the house
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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