That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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