I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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