This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
