He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
