South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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