Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
