let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
