i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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