? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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