just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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