I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
