I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
