dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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