sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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