oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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