just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
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When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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