Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
