I can tuck mytits in my pants
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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