yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize