I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Can you bring me the toilet please
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
