The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
