So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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