Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize