He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
