yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
