Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
