wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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