Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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