He disabled his match.com account in front of me
that's an acceptable place to lick
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize