He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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