stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
