Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The uberlube is also flammable
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
