forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
