one two three fourrrrnication!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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