Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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