bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
