I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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