he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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