...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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