i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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