Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
