It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
