Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
