You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
