He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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