who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
