Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

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  (706): dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you. http://tfl.nu/te9j
  Replies (23) Good night (5976) Bad night (643)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.

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  (413): Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot. http://tfl.nu/sr3w
  Replies (19) Good night (9479) Bad night (1305)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.

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  (703): Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time. http://tfl.nu/wm5x
  Replies (12) Good night (597) Bad night (3853)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.

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  (713): If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free. http://tfl.nu/xcq7
  Replies (25) Good night (1461) Bad night (4490)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...

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  (701): Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty... http://tfl.nu/qvnt
  Replies (18) Good night (5558) Bad night (1040)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me

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  (215): i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me http://tfl.nu/j6i2
  Replies (13) Good night (1384) Bad night (3869)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job

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  (651): I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job http://tfl.nu/40rf
  Replies (62) Good night (6609) Bad night (1972)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.

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  (509): Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25. http://tfl.nu/jw4t
  Replies (5) Good night (1897) Bad night (748)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry

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  (972): we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry http://tfl.nu/ax9j
  Replies (8) Good night (502) Bad night (2168)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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  (240): Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone. http://tfl.nu/49no
  Replies (7) Good night (390) Bad night (938)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.

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  (306): That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives. http://tfl.nu/0tdc
  Replies (5) Good night (464) Bad night (251)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.

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  (250): You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is. http://tfl.nu/r86g
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (267)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck

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  (631): I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck http://tfl.nu/l2kc
  Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (253)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament

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  (850): That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament http://tfl.nu/5bou
  Replies (0) Good night (676) Bad night (217)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?

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  (313): saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man? http://tfl.nu/248d
  Replies (4) Good night (313) Bad night (219)

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