Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.

(917): View more from New York City

Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.

(812): View more from Indiana

Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.

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(812): Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background. (917): Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex. (812): Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds. http://tfl.nu/5x1m

Replies (32) Good night (508) Bad night (1738)
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(805): View more from California

I just tipped a bartender in xanax.

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(805): I just tipped a bartender in xanax. http://tfl.nu/pn9d

Replies (16) Good night (3244) Bad night (534)
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(917): View more from New York City

I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas

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(917): I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas http://tfl.nu/eh4r

Replies (58) Good night (1099) Bad night (6094)
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(818): View more from California

If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.

(323): View more from California

Sounds like a plan.

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(818): If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him. (323): Sounds like a plan. http://tfl.nu/lnib

Replies (34) Good night (8441) Bad night (879)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.

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(803): you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night. http://tfl.nu/8q1c

Replies (11) Good night (4773) Bad night (612)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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(720): You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset. http://tfl.nu/s72o

Replies (7) Good night (3924) Bad night (974)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?

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(865): If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right? http://tfl.nu/p6zg

Replies (19) Good night (2820) Bad night (940)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand

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(215): The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand http://tfl.nu/qoyx

Replies (4) Good night (966) Bad night (826)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.

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(978): Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance. http://tfl.nu/nlqh

Replies (13) Good night (1428) Bad night (794)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.

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(781): perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax. http://tfl.nu/ar2h

Replies (0) Good night (906) Bad night (1229)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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(719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2

Replies (8) Good night (1708) Bad night (495)
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(408): View more from California

I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

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(408): I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all" http://tfl.nu/dl7h

Replies (1) Good night (1081) Bad night (297)
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(636): View more from Missouri

he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.

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(636): he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting. http://tfl.nu/kcge

Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (215)
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(970): View more from Colorado

It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...

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(970): It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me... http://tfl.nu/tknp

Replies (5) Good night (240) Bad night (746)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.

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(973): THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK. http://tfl.nu/ffuw

Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (228)

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