Your face is a jimmy john
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
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I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.