We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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