Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is