Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My boob is missing a layer of skin