Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
