he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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