I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
