the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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