I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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