i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
