ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
