we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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