I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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