If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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