the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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